For all of its faults, Hell runs pretty smoothly. It has for eons...but as one of the eternal Hellbound, I sometimes wonder how another important figure in history would run this show.

The Legend

I'm old. Over the years I've heard stories of important people but there was one person who stood above the others. This being was so charismatic that just being around him made people want to do better. He changed the world with his ideas and vision! His influence on his world can still be seen to this very day!

This legendary figure got the best from his people and engendered a cult-like devotion that still resonates, long after his death. His success was built on a desire to buck convention and create a completely new way to connect with one another. And even though he was reviled by his peers he refused to conform and found new ways for his people to see their world.

His passing resonated even down in our circles and I have long wondered about the name of this motivational paragon who believed in his message with such resolute faith. What could a person like this accomplish in a realm like ours? What couldn't he accomplish?

Here, we toil around the clock in servitude but have no real purpose. I'm one of the fortunate Hellbound. I have a job that lets me travel.

The Problem

Most of us are stuck in an endless rut of pain and misery, which is nice if you like that sort of thing. But, when I hear the whispers of what this pioneering soul offered to his world, I wonder how he could transform our own. Don't get me wrong: I'm a fan of the Keeper. He keeps the Hellbound in our place. He stokes the fires of damnation like no one else in history. But...it's just so damn depressing.

What if this guy was the type of leader that kept us punished yet still got us to love our jobs? What a Hell that would be...

So, in my addled mind I sometimes sing out: "All hail the new King!"

And I would call him Steve.